Abhay's Bhay

A while ago, I was going home after a long day of work. I exited the train station and waited at the intersection for the walking signal. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m the kind of person who pays attention to traffic to time when the walking signal goes off. My personal reason for that is that I must be the first person in the group of standing pedestrians to start walking.

Stupid? Maybe.

Anyway, on this day, I’m waiting for the signal to turn, and I know it’s almost time when a gentleman in front of me has the same idea and starts walking prematurely. He has a sleeveless jacket, a cap on his head, and a white bushy beard. He is also carrying a toolbox in his right hand. Usually, I would take this as a personal challenge—how dare he walk in front of me? However, this day I restrained myself. A big part of the reason was that before the walking signal went off, there were cars still turning. So, I stopped myself due to common sense.

This unfolds in front of me. This gentleman starts walking preemptively; cars are still turning. The walking signal goes off just as the last car turns, and that is when it happened. There was no accident, thankfully. But what happened is that the last car that turned barely missed this bushy-bearded gentleman’s body and somehow still hit the toolbox he was carrying. The force of impact threw the toolbox onto the road, spilling its contents on the asphalt. My guy is furious. He is throwing up middle fingers, yelling profanities, and overall being a super not chill guy. I witness this. Usually, my instinct is to help people if I can. This day, however, I walk past him as he’s collecting his tools off the road.

As I’m homebound and processing what just happened, I remembered a conversation I had with a colleague of mine during a slow workday. I believe we were talking about opinions and how they change depending on how you present said opinion. My colleague, let’s call him John, said that a person’s opinion must have clothing. Intrigued, when I asked for clarity, he continued saying an opinion is only as effective as the manner in which it is conveyed. Opinion is always dependent on the context and the setting being shared as well, but we were specifically talking about delivery.

John said to me that if he has a friend who is overweight and constantly complains about wanting to lose weight, John can address this in two ways. First, he could bully him. He could send his opinion out naked, call him fat and lazy, and just bulldoze over his emotional state to get this person to react in a way where he wants to show John that he’s not going to take this bullying and do better! That… isn’t healthy. Or second, he could dress his opinion better. He could encourage healthy habits by becoming an accountability buddy, partaking in some of his growth, and approaching the situation in a manner that doesn’t require emotional terrorism.

Regardless, John will not know how his friend will respond. However, it is still John’s responsibility to present his own opinion in a manner that is heard and considered by his friend. Similarly, if John and I ever disagreed on something like what is better, coffee with no sugar (how John likes it) or coffee with sugar (how I like it), I will not listen to his reasoning if he starts attacking my preference and bad-mouthing sugar. He will be more effective if he tells me why he decided to go sugar-free. That made a lot of sense to me.

As I walked home, I kept thinking about what happened and my chat with John. The gentleman with the toolbox thought he was right. He felt justified in his actions, and technically, he might have been. But life doesn’t always work that way. The world doesn’t care if you’re right or wrong—it often rewards those who are smart enough to adapt.

There was an important lesson here for both this gentleman and myself. Life requires us to be flexible and humble, even when we know we’re right. It’s not just about being right; it’s about being practical and understanding the context. If you don’t bend a little, life will hit you just enough to humble you.

So, the next time you’re sure you’re right, remember that it’s okay to be wrong if it means going with the flow. It’s not about winning the argument or proving a point; it’s about moving forward and learning to adjust as the world changes around us. Sometimes, being flexible is the smartest move you can make.